If you’ve been paying any sort of attention to the news, or at the very least your twitter feed, you’ve seen some shit about North Korea. Supposedly they’re planning to attack us, or nuke us…or something. I’m really not even sure. I tried to talk to the Korean man that works at the Circle K on my block but he wasn’t tryna offer up any information. Either way, we can all agree it’s best that we’re prepared. Here at HFHH, we’ve devised a plan, so hear us out…
Real Talk season 2 is still underway, and it’s about time that we addressed you hoes. We slander dudes more than enough, it’s the females’ turn to get some of this Real Talk for a change. It’s time to speak on you ratchets. Like the gentlemen we are though, we decided to bring on a guest writer for this Real Talk, a female writer. We’re gonna just let her slander y’all, but rest assured we threw a few jabs of our own in there as well. Ling, the floor is yours.
I hope y’all got your ringside seats, cause it’s ass whooping season. We’ve laid low with the Real Talk series for the past few months, patiently waiting to unleash our slander upon the world once again. We’ve witnessed a lot of shit during that time that needs to be addressed, so put your feelings aside and let us better you. Before we start, if you made it to the year 2013, and your profile on any social network contains the word “Papi” or you’re shirtless in your avi, well, this shit ain’t for you fatherless faggots. No hope left for y’all, we’re leaving you in 2012. Now let’s get down to it.
What’s up fam, we’re back with another list for y’all. Be on the lookout for more of these coming soon, at least one a week moving forward. Today we’re hear to speak on something very important to us here over at HFHH, ignorance. We love some ignorance, who doesn’t? Ignorant bangers are essential for disturbing your neighborhood, and for spilling drinks in your local club. This is the type of music that you go to when you have no fucks to give, and you just want to forget all the rules of life for a little while. We’ve compiled a brief list of essential ignorant anthems, ones that have recently dropped within the past few months. Next time you put a playlist together, or make a new CD for that interstate drive with the work, make sure you got all of these on deck. Continue reading below, and let’s get started.
We know this isn’t a Hip Hop related “Real Talk”, but it’s football season so deal with it. If you ain’t with football, fuck you. Anyways, the first week of the regular season is in the books, and it’s time for all the overreacting to begin. In our minds, champions are already being crowned, draft picks are already labeled as busts, and coaches are already on the hot seat. Now, we aren’t NFL analysts or anything, just two dudes with observations. So with that said, here’s what we learned after Week 1…
Jimmy Graham & Tony G can dunk the goal post, Vernon Davis can not. You got rejected by the goddamn crossbar bruh, that shit is embarrassing as fuck. You ain’t the tallest cat in the world, but you’re tall enough to clear a crossbar with a football my dude. The sad part is, you know if you’re going to make it or not as soon as you leave your feet. Once he leaped, he already knew he fucked up, but he was committed to the attempt at that point. Just finger-roll that bitch next time Vernon, nobody’s gonna think any less of you.
Crown RGIII rookie of the year, nah but really, crown him. My Saints defense ain’t exactly NFL caliber, but playing flawless in one of the toughest away environments in the league is no easy task. All the other rookie QB’s looked like flat out ass, but we’ll get to that shortly. RGIII showed he’s clearly the best of bunch for now, and I don’t see him going on a drastic downward spiral anytime soon. Am I overreacting here? Maybe a little. But hey, so is ESPN.
Matter of fact, I’ve got a great idea on how we can make RGIII’s crown. We need to stop by Brandon Weeden’s crib, gather up all the awards or trophies he has ever won, and just melt them shits down man. He just ain’t worthy. This muhfucker finished his first ever professional regular season game with a 5.1 passer rating. That number would be pretty impressive if he were Dolby Surround Sound or some shit, but this is football. No one is expecting hall of fame numbers, but my passer rating was 5.1 points below Weeden’s, and I was sitting on a fuckin couch. The corpse of Helen Keller would have been a more viable quarterback. Also, this is the embodiment of struggle, in gif form.
That longsnapper for the Raiders, I don’t even know what his name is, but MY GOD. This duded fucked up three snaps in a row. I’ve never seen three punt attempts denied back to back to back ever in my life. This motherfucker ain’t even snap the ball half the time, he just rolled that bitch to the punter and left him to get swarmed by opposing players. If the special teams performance wasn’t bad enough at that point, they followed it up with what might have the been the worst onside kick attempt in the history of football. That whole game was jokes man.
These fucking replacement refs, these goddamn K-Mart, bluelight special refs got to fucking go. Y’all out here blowing calls, giving teams extra timeouts for good behavior and shit, and all types of other fuckery. The original refs aren’t that great themselves, but these motherfuckers they got out here can’t be any more qualified to wear a striped shirt than the sales associates at Foot Locker.
That’s about it for Week 1. Tonight marks the start of Week 2, so enjoy that game for those who will be watching. One last thing….when shit like THIS happens, it should be mandatory that you turn in your jersey. Alright, y’all be cool.
Alright man, it’s about that time again. We apologize for not delivering any “Real Talk” pieces for a minute, but we only write when something really inspires us. With that said, here we are.
Most of y’all should know by now, but yesterday Lil Wayne announced that the Dedication 4 mixtape would be arriving next month. Now, this would be dope news pre-2010, but in 2012 we’re not so sure. The Dedication series is arguably the best of all time, top 5 no debating. Those tapes are what really got Weezy recognized as one of rap’s elite in the mid 2000′s, but this was before he was sober and doing kick flips in his backyard. Look man, ain’t nothing wrong with your new hobby, but we don’t need to hear about that shit in every verse. I’m not tryna hear 15 songs about how much you love your mini vert ramp, and about all the tricks you can land on a good day. Take one song, dedicate it to skating, get it all out, then leave it there. Don’t even put that song on the tape bruh, make it a bonus joint or some shit.
I ain’t trying to hear no commercials in my songs either man. I probably wouldn’t wear Trukfit if you gave me the shit, and I damn sure ain’t doing no sexual favors for a tee or something…no homo.
Now I’m about to speak for the entire Hip Hop community on this one, leave them shit rappers off this mixtape. Don’t be like 50 and try to force muhfuckers like Kidd Kidd into our headphones. Don’t even give Lil Chuckee & Lil Twist directions to the fucking studio you’re at bruh, don’t even let them know you got a mixtape coming out. Tell em somebody hacked your Twitter and sent that shit out. Forget you even signed half them motherfuckers you got on your roster. Let Drake get a couple authentic verses, let Birdman talk shit on one track, and that’s it. Get a guest verse from Curren$y if possible, and call it a wrap.
Ok, now onto more pressing matters. This is more of a plea, rather than a “Real Talk” at this point. Don’t fuck this shit up Wayne. Don’t ruin my favorite mixtape series of all time, that’s all I’m asking. You got Drama back riding shotgun, he’s gonna be shouting out all types of brilliantly ignorant one liners, you got no excuse to fuck this up. I’m not even asking for the old Wayne back, I’m not that guy. I’m asking that you deliver what you’re capable of. You’ve put out a few hot verses these past couple months, so I know you still have it in you. I defended The Carter IV man, I kinda like that shit a lil, but no more passes. No Sorry 4 The Wait, which was trash minus like 2-3 songs. Remember, Drama’s sending these beats to the Mixtape Weezy, not the X-Games Tunechi. Keep that in mind when recording bruh. Don’t put out a dud like 50 Cent did with that Lost Tape bullshit, I still can’t believe Drama even attached his name to that garbage. That tape hit the recycle bin in record time, but that’s neither here nor there.
That’s about it. Just don’t fuck this up. You ain’t gotta give us a masterpiece, just don’t give us some trash. Most Hip Hop fans already gave up on you, but for those of us who are left, this is your last chance. Real muhfuckers can’t ride with you much longer. We forgave you for the leopard jeggings at the VMA’s, but we gotta draw the line somewhere dawg. You can’t fuck up this legendary mixtape series and get away with it, so I’m just putting you on notice. Ima beat you with your skateboard if you fuck this one up fam, I’m serious. If you ruin this I’m typing in my name, and clocking out like Morgan Freeman at the end of The Dark Knight. Sincerely, an honest fan.
It’s hot outside, the drinks are cold, the females are half naked, and music is banging. We all know the Summer time is when we get arguably the best music, and the most ignorant anthems that cause us to make mistakes when mixed with alcohol. We’ve compiled our list of what we believe are the 10 best Summer Bangers of 2012, the 10 songs that embody everything you could want during this time of year.
Continue reading below, and lets get started.
What’s good everybody? First off, Happy belated Mothers Day to all you women out there, even the young ones that ain’t plan on this shit. Alright, now lets get down to business. For those of y’all who fuck with us on Twitter, you know we’re on there quite often. We chop it up with some of y’all, the rest of you fools need to get on board as well. There’s a lot of shit that goes down everyday on the digital, filthy streets of Twitter that we just can’t fucking stand. For those of y’all who are new to Twitter, or are thinking about signing up, make sure you pay close attention. We’re going to keep you from looking like a bunch of self-conscious, thirsty savages. If you’ve been on Twitter for a while, rest assured, you probably do some of the shit we’re about to mention. Lucky for you, it’s not too late to change your ways….so let’s get to it.
You simp muhfuggas, that’s that shit we don’t like. Fuck that, we absolutely DETEST you Drizzy Drake replicas. Y’all all know what we’re talking about. The guys with 36 followers who compliment every average female every chance they get, like all her Instagram pics, etc. Now we cant even lie, you little warriors do prosper on Twitter..to an extent. No bad bitch is going to ever fuck with you, but y’all seem to be perfectly fine with that. Y’all target the self-conscious, needy bitches (who we’ll address later) who thrive on attention to make it through their lonely days. The thing is, that’s all you will ever be. You’re not getting the box, you’re not getting any nude pics, you’re just nothing more than a retweet and a “Thanks!” mention. Y’all fucking the game up for everybody else who carefully plots his attacks. We have to refrain from following some of these hoes back cause we’re not tryna do battle with you thirsty savages. These bitches got no need for a real muhfugga when 50 of y’all are having an H20 shindig in her mentions daily. At some point, your thirst minutes run out. Y’all out here acting like there’s an unlimited data plan of thirst, shit don’t work that way. You’re gonna be a few retweets, then probably get blocked for spam as she moves onto the next one. Take it from us, y’all look fucking stupid. Sit back, get a Dasani, and fucking chill.
All you bitches on twitter, constantly seeking approval of others….that’s that shit we don’t like. You self-conscious females need to go back to Facebook with all that shit. It’s easy to post a half naked picture on Facebook, get 70 likes, and end your day on a high note. You come to Twitter with that shit, you better be ready to stack up. There’s an entire digital underground of 5 star bitches on Instagram, and we got a directory to that shit. If you have to tweet pics of yourself and then ask if you look good, throw in the fucking towel. Y’all are the same ones who retweet all these thirsty savages we mentioned previously. By doing that shit, you already devalued yourself. Real bad bitches ain’t retweeting nobody with 10 fucking followers, but you will, cause you need that approval to feel as though you’re unfuckwitable. I’m going to just close this paragraph with some wise words from Joe Budden: “No self esteem to cover her lack of confidence, she get on Twitter retweeting all the compliments.”
….Now that I think about it, what’s even more pathetic is that dudes do this shit as well. Stop tweeting pics asking what others think about it. The fuck you need approval for bruh? The problem is, there aren’t enough real people on twitter who will give you negative feedback, that’s why y’all ask. There’s no fear in it cause everybody you fuck with is just like you, constantly seeking the approval of others. There isn’t much room for the real on twitter. Everybody wants lie to you motherfuckers and lead y’all down a path that gets you no where outside of your 140 character or less tweets. And stop biting your lip in pictures, that shit is for bitches…and put your shirt back on you malnourished fuck. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: “If you’re going to follow/retweet me, all I ask is that you keep your shirt on in your avi.” That’s not too much to ask for in 2012 is it?
You copy and paste quote motherfuckers, yep, that’s that shit we fucking HATE. Need some relationship, or live advice? Have no fear, just hit up Twitter where everybody in the 17-20 age range is a certified expert. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with a good inspiring quote every once in a while, but you lil motherfuckers spend all day tweeting them shits. Y’all are the same type of males we mentioned two paragraphs ago, seeking retweets from lonely bitches with a Drake playlist on. Y’all aren’t “deep”, or have even lived long enough to practice what you “preach” daily. The next time you get the urge to drop some knowledge on us, courtesy of your right click, don’t. Just stop. Don’t fucking do that. Calm the fuck down, and just be a regular person for 5 minutes. It isn’t hard to get followers while keeping your dignity, try it out sometime.
We could go on, believe us. This is all we have time for today, but trust a part two will be in the making sometime soon. Y’all be easy, hit us on up on Twitter if you can refrain from doing all the above mentioned fuckery.
It’s that time of year again. It’s no secret that the Summer is the best time of year for Hip Hop. Everybody aims for a Summer release, and usually the hottest albums/singles drop during this time. We went ahead and compiled our top 5 most anticipated albums for the upcoming season. Narrowing this time was a bit of struggle, since there are more than 15 big name artists planning to drop withing the next 3 months. As always, this is just our opinion, like it or not. We start with #5, and work our way to #1. Click “read more”, and let’s get this started.
Hip-Hop is dead (or is it?). Nas ran with this gimmick in 2006, dropped an album under that title, and mindless sheep have been repeating it ever since. At the time, who would seriously argue with Nas on the state of Hip Hop? The answer is, not many. Six years later, and you can now find Nas on the latest Nicki Minaj album. So I have to ask, did Nas even believe what he said, or was he full of shit?
It was easy for him to say at the time, that’s when Hip-Hop was really venturing in new directions. Trap music had begun it’s rise, Pop music was starting to influence Hip-Hop singles like never before, and feature whoring was at an all time high. A more appropriate phrase would be: “Hip Hop Doesn’t Sell”, or “Hip Hop Has Evolved”. Did it DIE though? Absolutely not, and the ones who continue to say it are the ones slowly bringing it down.
Eminem collaborating with Rihanna, Nas on multiple Young Money albums, Joe Budden enlisting Lil Wayne for his new single, 50 Cent making songs like “Girls Go Wild”, etc. There’s plenty more examples, way too many to list. At which point do all of those things stop becoming a coincidence, and people start realizing the genre has evolved? Support what you like, and at the end of the day you can be happy with yourself. Wishing failure on an artist you’ve never met simply because their music isn’t to your personal preferences is some bitter shit. Get off the forums and blog sites with all the angry comments. Stop tweeting at artists mad as hell that they are in a better place in life than you are, that shit is a bad look. If you think you are contributing to the genre in a good way by acting like that, rest assured, you’re not.
Now, we don’t believe that Hip-Hop is dead, but there is no debating that Hip-Hop sales have declined. There’s more than one reason as to why that is. The evolution, the internet bootlegging, fans who don’t support albums they like, etc. The evolution of mainstream Hip Hop isn’t the Hip Hop we once knew, and there’s really nothing wrong with that. Everything since the beginning of time on this earth has evolved, and hardcore Hip Hop fans seem to be the only ones who don’t understand that concept. We’re a stubborn bunch. There’s still PLENTY of traditional Hip Hop emcees out there today, and they are more accessible than ever thanks to the internet. There is really no reason to not be satisfied with the state of Hip-Hop, you have more options than ever before. You have to get over the fact that your favorite rapper might not go Platinum, or even Gold, and that’s fine. They can still build a solid fan base, do plenty of shows a year, and be much better off financially than the rest of us.
The sub-genres of Hip Hop have simply grown. Rock music might have more sub-genres than any other, and it’s a great thing. Why can’t Hip Hop have the same? There is something for everybody. You’ve got Mainstream, you’ve got Trap, you’ve got Gangster, Auto-tune, Underground, etc. I could keep going. Then you’ve got guys like Kanye West who continues to push the boundaries, and while he is definitely mainstream, you can’t put him in a box either. There’s just simply too much out there to be on the message boards complaining about how the genre is “dead” when it’s more diverse than ever. In fact, for you purists, there is more “true” (true being in quotes, because I believe the idea of “true” Hip-Hop is bullshit) Hip-Hop available to you now than ever before. Is it what currently sells the most records? No. Luckily, you have the freedom to listen to whatever you like, regardless of what is currently the most popular. If someone wants to cook to some Lil B, or fuck two bad bitches AT THE SAME DAMN TIME, let them live. A few years ago, a guy like Kendrick Lamar wouldn’t have been able to come along spitting what he does now and make a career out of it. The way the internet changed things has allowed that, so if anything you should be excited. Everybody can get a piece of the pie right now, some bigger than others, but that’s just life.
So, the next time you hear 2 Chainz or Future on your local radio station, before you run home to mash your keyboard in anger, just sit back and remember it isn’t that serious. Your time is better spent putting other people on newer artists that you DO like, rather than complaining about why you don’t like Rapper A, B, and C.
If you disagree with this post, fuck you. As always, you can hit us up on Twitter if you want to leave feedback. Until next time, y’all be easy & stay positive.